12

I know that my birth was that uncertain smile on my mother’s face.

I know my presence was a forced smile on my father’s face.

I know that I had to fulfill their need for attention.

I know that I'm where I wanted to be, working with my father.

But is that what I really wanted?

And the doubts remain.

 

I know that for my father I’m better than a son, that son who has never arrived but has been well replaced.

I know that for my mother I’m her key to freedom, the one who allowed her to live her life.

I know that nobody cares about my choices, they won’t change the world, but who knows?

And the doubts remain.

 

I know that now we are trendy.

I know that now we don't have to remain in the closet.

I know that, as they say, we are the future.

I know that there is nothing wrong with it.

But the doubts remain.

 

I know that the rainbow is the symbol of nature, the symbol of harmony, which includes everything.

I know that my parents don't pay attention to it, maybe because they don't want to see it.

I know that she doesn’t like our living apart.

But the doubts remain.

 

I know that if I look at that body in the mirror, I clearly see a woman.

I know that if I’m dressed I see what I want to see. It is the same body but at the same time it is no longer the same.

I know that biology cannot be fooled but it can be bridled.

A very short haircut and loose clothes, better if pants, are right up my street.

But the doubts remain.

 

Maybe it is for this reason that being elected to be a new generation scares me, a lot.

Maybe this is the reason why becoming a living flag, a symbol of freedom, nailed onto the cross of political correctness.

But then, what's freedom? Escaping from yourself any time you want?

Or you can?

...

Extract from the book “We Cannot Escape from Ourselves”.