9

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In this story, the protagonist, despite her believing she had no options, she managed to turn around her life, which resembled the monotonous parading along the lanes of a swimming pool.

When she was a teenager, her life had changed due to her mother’s death, which led her to assume her role (Existential Mirroring).

Instead of rejecting it and remain a daughter and sister, to continue to pursue her personal and professional interests, she became the glue keeping her family together, and her father’s and brother’s practical and moral support. Over the years, this situation became the family normal: her father and brother greatly benefited from her Choice of becoming a surrogate wife and mother. As a daughter/wife/mother, therefore, after finishing her studies, she joined the family company to help her father and brother to run it. The issue, however, is not so much her Professional Choice, but having to integrate the three roles together.

 

Feeling indispensable to others strengthens the Relationship of Reciprocal Dependence, generating the Infantile Individual Rule:

• "I am alive because the others exist, and the others are alive because I exist”.

 

As happened also to the protagonists of Closed for Vacation, Invisible and Running, when you are young and full of energy, identifying with the family (Private Family Program), can instill a sense of power and great enthusiasm, making one hyperactive and proactive, but also rigid and obsessed with perfectionism (Existential Perfection), because afraid of making a mistake and, consequently, no longer being considered useful to the family. This increases the perception of Existential Risk (Staying Alive) that leads to an attitude of Hyper Control of the Territory (family and social environment).

So already as teenagers, minor Infantile Adults,

• "Distrusting and controlling everything and everyone”,

becomes the new Infantile Individual Rule.

 

The protagonists of these stories, moreover, have a very profitable family business (Professional Social Family Program). In the absence of a personal interest in that specific business sector, the economic returns becomes the reason for a daughter or son to work with their families putting aside Individual Needs, Talents, and Professional and Cultural Purposes.

 

Renouncing oneself goes against the Fundamental Rule of the Human Project – Manifesting one's Creator Individuality. Among living beings, the humans are the only ones capable of feeling uncomfortable or dissatisfied, while having what it takes to live and relationships with which to share time and interests.

When everything is done in Function of others (Complacency Variable), such as the assumption of the role of surrogate wife and mother, and Individual Needs and Purposes are denied, over the years, the Malaise Program is activated. Such program is Pro-Active because with Self-Sabotage Actions slows down and stop us, so we can take care of ourselves.

If this does not happen, and the Malaise signs are not understood but suppressed with medicines, the benefits of immediate physical relief are only temporary.

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Extract from the book “We Cannot Escape from Ourselves”.

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